Dilemma

Today was first day back at school. My little girl was a nervous wreck and to be quite honest so was I. She put on her school uniform and I put on my uniform, normal boring jeans, jersey top and a paint spattered army coat. Gone was my Katryoshka alter ego, in her place was Kat Stubbs - mother and wife. On my way back from the school run I began thinking about a conversation I had the night before with Alpha Male. I had been testing the water about dying my hair dark with a silver streak at the front. To describe the look I was going for I used Daphne Guiness as an example (see previous post about her here), his response 'Why are you always trying to be someone else?'. His comment confirmed my suspicions, the new hair idea was not going to go down well and was best put on the shelf permanently but it has really bothered me and took me back to being an experimental teenager being told an idea was stupid. Add to the mix this mornings 'dressing down to blend in on the school run' and his comments ran through my mind again. I have always had mad hair in one way or another, it was royal blue and fabulous when we met and at other times completely unstyled with terrible dark roots. The way I see it is you don't have to be famous or a celebrity to wear and look how you want and if it makes you feel good then its worthwhile (unless of course you job dictates boundaries and luckily for me, mine doesn't). I've never seen it as attempt to be like someone else, I just get ideas and  inspiration from the people around me but I guess he feels that anyone who makes a bold statement is trying to show off and draw attention to themselves. I obviously must agree to some extent as proved by my need to dress down for the playground therefore avoiding unnecessary attention. I just hate and will always hate the idea that with age you should stop enjoying your clothes and hair. What a conflict - one person to him might be an old bat with orange hair and mad clothes trying to retain a sense of fun and the same person to me is an inspirational woman who refuses to be told what she can and can't wear. It seems to me that he'd much prefer the elegant, refined lady who is discreet and age appropriate in her style and dress sense where as I just see bland and dull. I guess the time has come for me to decide who I'm going to be, scary! Kat x